When I grow up...

I've finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. A movie quote whore.

Here's my movie quote for Die Hard 4: This movie takes payment in explosions and it only gives out change in machine gun fire.

That's right, movie company -- you're free to use that on the back of your packaging. Just make sure you get my name right. It's Anne Cope, Panda Massage Press.

Transformers 2 -- It's the most transforminating movie ever. I makes me want to shoot rockets out my nipples just like that one robot that looked like all the other robots. -- Anne Cope, The Experimental Bingoer Monthly.

Bruno -- It didn't make me vomit out my eyeballs, but it did make me wish I was a lamprey eel. -- Anne Cope, The Avuncular Examiner

The Proposal -- If Sandra Bullock was anymore adorable, I'd stab myself in the neck with a garden trowel. -- Anne Cope, Daily Egret Liberator Monthly.

Imagine That -- This movie reminds me of when Eddie Murphy was funny, and then it makes me remember that he hasn't been for years. And then I weep a little. -- Anne Cope, Ferrets, Ferrets Ferrets: A Magazine About Ferrets.

Land of the Lost -- It's just about stupid enough to fool my cat into thinking it's funny. That's right. Tama gave this movie four paws and zero balls UP! -- Anne Cope, The Eurotastic Journal of Creams and Unguents.

I seriously think I have a shot at this!

Secrets

When I was younger, I totally had a crush on Young Sherlock Holmes.

For those of you who don't know... Holmes is the tall one, not the short, bespectacled one. That's Watson. Nobody likes Watson.

Seriously... you guys... I love you. No, really. I love you.

You guys... I'm feeling it today.

Seriously.

I'm gonna take it down a notch. Someone, can you get the spotlight?

*cue cheesy piano*

You know, there comes a time in our lives when we realize how lucky we are. We've lived our lives. Eaten jell-o. Made a sculpture from mashed potatoes and then you realize that... it means something. It's important...

Yeah... just like that.

And when you get to sculpting mashed potatoes and you have your carb filled epiphany... you gotta reach out. Reach out and touch other people. They may be really short with weird heads (that sort of look like potatoes... don't tell them about your sculpture, FYI) and strange and into lighting panels of lights up and Casio keyboard noodling. It's okay. Share with them. You may or may not want to go up on their UFO. Ask Chris Hansen before you do. He can go in ahead of you and check for people who might need to have a seat right over there.

My point is... whether it's weird looking aliens or anthropomorphic dog people or a monster made of living rock or Teletubbies or Raptor Jesus... we're all just people. And people deserved to be loved -- so, I have to say this... I love you. All of you. From the bottom of my heart, with 100% sincerity, without even a TRACE of irony... I love you all. No matter where you read this. No matter who reads this. I love you.

You can be real life friends, family, the hubs. You can be dear internets friends I've known forever. New internets friends. People who just randomly friended me for Facebook games or on LJ because we both like Sailor Moon. Even strangers who just wandered in because they were looking for porn and accidentally found this blog instead. Sorry about that, btw.

I love you. Too often on the internets and in real life, we focus on the wrong things. So, I'm giving everyone, everywhere a little e-hugg and a little e-love. Because I love you -- all of you.

Don't look so mad, Christopher Walken. I love you too.

That's better.